Our first week home

We came home from the hospital on Wed 10/8 around 8 pm. I was a nervous wreck. I joked around about how the hospital staff was like your "Verizon Network" and as we drove away from the hospital, I lost my network. Brian and I were now on our own 24/7. Of course our friends and family are here to help/offer advice. But it's not the same as being in the hospital and hitting that red button on your tv controller for a nurse to come in. I cried and cried the whole way home. So many what if's flooded my thoughts. What if I can't do this? What if I'm a bad mom? What if I don't know what to do? What if I don't hear him cry?

Mom and Kenny were here with us for a quick dinner and to help us get settled. When they left, I stood in the doorway and just sobbed. Now we were really alone. Alone with this strange new, little person. Jacob didn't do much at first. I blame myself for all the drugs I had taken in the hospital. We didn't even have to swaddle him that first night. We had him in a onesie and a sleep sack.

It was so uncomfortable in bed. I had tried to prop myself up on pillows as well as have my feet elevated. From the calves down I looked like the elephant man. I didn't recognize myself. I didn't know my feet could get that swollen. They were so tight and hurt so bad. It was horrible. Needless to say after that first night, I decided to sleep downstairs in the recliner. It was more like a hospital bed. I told Brian he could stay upstairs but he refused saying, if I had to sleep downstairs, both he & Jacob would sleep downstairs as well. So we all moved downstairs.

I have the BEST husband in the world. Brian has been so supportive and so helpful throughout this entire situation. I don't know how I got so lucky. He slept on the couch for almost 2 weeks just for me. He was the first one to jump up and tend to Jacob's cries whether it be for a poopy diaper or just some TLC. He understood what a difficult time I was having. Both with the recovery as well as the baby blues. I'm so thankful for that and very happy that he is my husband.

We had our first doctor's appointment the day after getting home. Everything and I mean everything takes soooo much longer to do when you add a baby to the mix. I was estatic that we would be getting there on time, especially with it being our first outing with Jacob. Minutes before we were to walk out the door, our precious one filled his diaper and we had to take him out of the car seat, undress, change diaper, redress, get him back into the car seat, get the car seat in the car. Phewww!! We just made it too. hahaha. Thank goodness the office is right around the corner.

Brian was home with us for 2 weeks starting from the time Jacob was born and Grandma Kyle stopped in regularly to help out. I thought it would be a piece of cake. Stay tuned.